10 Jokes to Tell on the Dive Boat to Get All Your Buddies Laughing

This is Shelly. She is not a crab. She shares her jokes because she is not Shellfish diver!

As scuba divers, we take our underwater adventures VERY seriously — but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a laugh or two along the way! 

Here is a countdown of 10 jokes guaranteed to keep the vibe light and fun on the dive boat, or at least embarrass your spouse or kids. Either way, share these with your dive buddies and watch the laughter ripple across the surface.

10. Why don’t scuba divers ever share their secrets?

Because they’re under too much pressure to keep them!

9. Why did the octopus blush?

Because it saw the bottom of the ocean.

8. What do a pair of dolphins and divers culling lionfish have in common? 

They are both in the water with a porpoise.

7. What do you call a group of scuba divers who love cheesy jokes?

The pun-derwater team.

6. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? 

"Dam!"

5. How do scuba divers speak underwater?

With great difficulty! We flash hand signs at each other and pretend to know what they mean!

4. What do you call a fish that knows everything?

A know-it-all-fin.

3. What do you get when you combine a scuba diver with a janitor?

Jaques Coustodian!

2. Why do scuba divers always need a buddy?

Because someone needs to laugh at their jokes underwater.

And the number 1 best joke that almost made me spit out my coffee mid-surface interval.......

1. SCUBA is an acronym for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. What you may not know is that 🎺Tuba🎵 is also an acronym...

Its big and heavy, plus not to mention it is a Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus

We hope these jokes add a little extra fun to your dive adventures. After all, there’s nothing like a good laugh to make the ocean even more enjoyable.

Have a favorite scuba joke? Share it with us in the comments below!

Happy Diving and Happy Laughing! 🌊